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What Cars Would the Avengers be?

What Cars Would the Avengers be?

By Swansway Motor Group 20-05-2019

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In April Marvel Studios released their pièce de résistance, the final instalment in the Avengers storyline, the epic; Endgame.

Now before we go any further, we should say that there will be absolutely no spoilers in this post. But there will be lots of Avengers fun and awesome motors, so that’s got to be worth sticking around for, right?!

Anyway, the release of Endgame got us thinking, the Avengers featured in the final film are made up of many members, each bringing their own unique skill set to the cause.

We thought we’d have a look and see what vehicles are out there at the moment that would suit each Avenger. We’ll even see if we can’t get a great big daft purple one for that meanie with the shouty glove, what’s his name… Stavros? No, Thanos, that’s it!

What vehicles could comprise the greatest team ever assembled though? Well, here’s our take:


Captain America

Starting at the top, with the leader of the Avengers! Steve Rogers, Captain America, “Cap”, “the Cap’n” whatever you call him, you can’t call him easy to kill! He even outlasted half of the universe’s population to make it to Endgame.

When others turn to dust, the Captain keeps rolling on! Which is why we’ve selected the Lexus NX SUV to represent the Cap.

The Lexus NX was voted top of the pile when it comes to reliability in a recent Auto Express Driver Power survey and owners have very rarely raised issues or concerns about the Lexus. So it’s pretty clear to us that the leader of our pack should be Mr Dependable!


Black Widow

We had to go dark for this one, we mean come on her name is “Black” widow!

Natasha Romanoff was an ex-KGB spy before donning the moody catsuit of Black Widow. She’s well versed in covert ops and better looking than a black forest gateau.

Which made us think, the best vehicle to fill ‘Tash’s deadly heels has to be the BMW i3. This electric silent mover could be stealthier than a cat in slippers. Plus, the black paintwork with chrome & blue detailing make it suitably easy on the eye!


Thor

The strongest Avenger wannabe is the God of Thunder and makes a sizable contribution to any fight scene with his great big hammer, “look at me cape” and typically appalling weather conditions following him everywhere.

But what vehicle could bring the thunder to our line-up? Well we thought the best option would be the Koenigsegg Regera!

The Koenigsegg boffins say that the Regera will be the most powerful production car ever, and with a bi-turbocharged 5.0 litre V8 engine producing a thunderous 1,100 horsepower you’d struggle to argue with them. Also, it’s a hybrid, so 3 YASA electric motors mean it runs on thunder! Kind of…


Iron Man

Tony Stark is the man behind the Iron, or carbon fibre, or graphite, or some kind of nickel-titanium mix. Well let’s face it, that suit isn’t made of Iron. Otherwise his biggest enemy would’ve been drizzle, not Thanos!

But one thing is for sure, Tony/Iron Man is an all-rounder and extremely intelligent. So we need our vehicle stand-in to be just that! Which is why we’ve gone for the Volkswagen Golf.

Now hear us out, thanks to its varied illustrious history & wide model range, the Golf can boasts a wide range of guises just like Iron Man. Plus it consistently performs at the top of its game, making every hatchback or medium car “Top 10” list since Thanos was is his giant purple nappy!


Hawkeye

Or Clint Barton as he’s known when he’s not doing his best Robin Hood impression, is a precision killer who worked alongside Black Widow both in and outside of the law.

More importantly now though, Barton’s quiver is resting in the umbrella stand as he looks after his family rather than darting baddies. So we think the best car to represent Hawkeye has to be the CUPRA Ateca.

CUPRA have added sports performance to the SUV mould with this car and we think that mix of spacious family vehicle and sport thrill seeker is perfect for our Hawk. Plus there’s plenty of room the boot for adult or child-sized arrows.


Doctor Strange

Doctor Stephen Strange was a master surgeon, with an ego to match before a particularly nasty car crash damaged his hands so much so that he couldn’t perform surgery again.

But after a run-in with a sorcerer, Strange recovered the use of his digits and managed to learn some mad tricks of his own. Just your average stuff like time & dimension manipulation, you know.

So what car can we choose to represent a time manipulating wizard? Well, in truth, none! But the new Audi A8 will come pretty close. It’s choc full of amazing tech and the plethora of glistening touchscreens inside, coupled with the quintessential Audi looks make it a car even a wizard would want!


Hulk

The real strongest Avenger was left licking his wounds after his last bout with Thanos and his twinkly glove. But you should know that you’ll never be able to keep the big green buffoon down for long!

However choosing a motor to match the Hulk has been something of a tricky pick. But we think we’ve, ahem, Hulk smash-ed it! Sorry

The Volkswagen Amarok is the only vehicle that could represent the Hulk! Able to take on any terrain and it can pretty much carry anything. Plus, just like the Hulk, you’ll probably struggle to get it in the garage. Now let’s hope there isn’t a massive purple pick-up knocking around anywhere, otherwise we are in trouble. One more plus to the Amarok is that when it calms down, it won’t turn into a weedy scientist talking about gamma rays that you have to keep in said garage.


Rocket

The diminutive Rocket (don’t say racoon, don’t say racoon…) has joined up with the Avengers since basically everyone else in the Guardians of the Galaxy got turned into people-dust at the end of Infinity War.

To select a car for the racoon (damn!) we had to think small nippy and something of a straight shooter! So we couldn’t think of anything more suited than an Abarth 695.

If not the fastest city car out there at the moment, the 695 is certainly nippy with plenty of accessories and a great design it’s certainly capable of being its own car. Just like a certain smack-talking racoon (damn, did it again!)


War Machine

Admittedly trying to pick a car to go with anything named “War Machine” is going to be tricky. I mean imagine trying to market a Dacia War Machine?! It would be awful! It would be cheap though and they’d be able to keep that gravel-voiced man on their adverts.

Lucky for us then, James “Rhodey” Rhodes, the man behind the machine, is something of a gentleman. So that does make it easier. As such, we’ve decided to plum for the Jeep Renegade!

It does help that ‘Renegade’ sounds like it could be an Avenger in itself without being as maniacal a name as War Machine. But the rest of the premise is sound too, the Renegade looks great and is loved by America, plus we’d imagine it to be something of a gentleman too.


Ant Man

Scott Lang is Ant Man and, again this posed us with some selection problems. Because, as far as we know, there are no vehicles on the market at the moment that can shrink and grow to any size.

But we’ve decided on the SEAT Arona. Now we know there’ll be people out there that’ll scoff at that selection, well to you we say - what’s your beef?! As a crossover the Arona is the perfect car for the job as it’s basically a hatchback someone left in the compost to grow bigger. Like when those championship vegetable growers come out with massive marrows and things!

But we digress. The thinking behind the selection is, the Arona is an award-winning crossover which has the mind of an Ibiza but the frame and soul of an SUV. It’s both little and large! Take that haters!


Nebula

The final stop on our cavalcade of car-Avengers is the turncoat baddie Nebula. Thanos’s least favourite daughter started getting cheesed off with her dad’s antics and joined up with the good guys.

Unfortunately for the rest of the universe, where most daughters get annoyed with their dads for their jokes, dress-sense or dancing, Nebula fell out with her pop due to his dreams of mass genocide and torture. Plus there’s the least favourite daughter thing. So, yeah, you can’t blame the girl!

Anyway we’ve decided the best course of action for picking a car to suit Nebula is to look at the fact that she’s essentially an indestructible cyborg. So we immediately thought, Honda Jazz! The Reliability Index has found the Jazz to be one of the hardiest cars out there, with repairs being few and far between and then only costing their owners, on average ££371.08.


Thanos

I know we said Nebula was the final stop, but we couldn’t bring together a noble band of car-Avengers without giving them a baddie to face. Otherwise they’d all just be sitting around drinking oil and drag-racing or something.

So what car could we put to this great big purple berk?! The elbow skin of the universe.

We’d love to be able to make Thanos a Toyota Tundra and just pan him forever, but that simply wouldn’t be in-keeping with the character. So we have in fact gone for one of the most powerful pick-ups on the market, the Ford Ranger!

The Ranger’s ample 3.2l 5-cylinder engine produces some serious power to help you tackle that tricky terrain. That should also come in handy when you’re driving over a few million people’s worth of dust. The Ranger’s not as powerful as the Amarok though, just quietly! 


Well that was our trawl through what cars we’d pick if we were assembling our very own car-version of the Avengers, complete with baddie.

There were a lot of cars that missed the cut and some tough choices were made. Good news, then that we can’t hurt a car’s feelings. Last thing we need is an emotionally needy Mitsubishi knocking around, or a Vauxhall Mokka massaging its damaged ego.

So in the words of Porky Pig Th-Th-The, Th-Th-The, Th-Th... That's all, folks. Let us know what motors you would pick, after all, you never know when a maniacal Ford Ranger is going to burst through the atmosphere and try to dissolve half the population of the world, so it pays to be prepared. Don’t say we didn’t warn you. Enjoy Avengers!

By the way, Porky Pig isn’t in the Avengers, could you imagine…

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