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If Roald Dahl characters were cars...

If Roald Dahl characters were cars...

By Swansway Motor Group 10-09-2019

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For many of us the works of Roald Dahl will forever be a part of our history, a wonderfully nostalgic hat tip to a simpler age. Back when all you had to worry about was the chokie or not going near the bedroom window at night for fear of being kidnapped by giants.

From his wonderful stories and captivating characters, Roald Dahl captured our imaginations and never let go.

The illustrations were brilliantly unique too, even though these were actually completed by Sir Quentin Blake. This combination of story-telling and cartoon artistry made both Blake and Dahl household names.

But with characters like Fantastic Mr Fox and the Twits, and tales like the BFG and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory in his repertoire he had something for everyone. This included a way of writing that brought the scenes to life in your already over-active juvenile mind.

But it’s Dahl’s characters that we’re going to be focussing on for now. Seeing as though it’s Roald Dahl Day on 13th September, we thought we’d match some famous characters to their car kindred spirits.

Starting with…


The BFG

We had to start this list with one of the most famous Roald Dahl characters! The BFG, or Big Friendly Giant, was part of a giant fraternity who liked to feast on humans in the dead of night (we know, he doesn’t sound very friendly). But after picking up a little girl named Sophie he proves that he’s the exception to the giant rule.

The BFG talk’s complete nonsense, eats snozzcumbers and farts like a trooper after drinking frobscottle, but he’s still better than the other giants. It’s not a hard list to top when you consider one of the other giants name’s is Bloodbottler…

So which vehicle would be perfect for the role of BFG? How about the Volkswagen Amarok!? The Amarok is perfect, big by nature and seeing as though it won Best Pick-Up at the WhatCar Car of the Year Awards, we’d say it’s definitely the best of the car giants!


Matilda Wormwood

In another time Matilda would’ve been in the Avengers, using her psycho-active powers to battle Thanos. But as it is she’s a young girl with secret, special powers who has a passion for learning, but her dim-witted parents don’t share the same verve for information.

Matilda eventually gets her way & ends up at school where she enjoys a love/hate relationship with, seemingly, the only 2 teachers in the school. She loves the warm-hearted and caring Miss Honey, and hates the down-right depraved Miss Trunchbull. Hardly surprising when you consider this woman has such a distain for pig-tails that she threw Amanda Thrip over a fence just for sporting the hairdo.

For Matilda we’ve chosen the Honda Jazz, just like her the Jazz is full of tricks & has magic inside, Magic Seats that is! The compact vehicle is perfect for packing in lots of fun and its nippy nature should keep it safely away from the chokie!


Willy Wonka

Wonka, let’s face it, was not your average man. In fact he was more eccentric than a swan in a dinner jacket. Case and point, he managed to build and fund a chocolate factory where you could lick sweet flavoured walls and eat anything in sight!

As it happened, though, he wanted to share his factory with a select group of Wonka fans. This escapade also ends with him losing several children in his factory, which definitely got us thinking about which vehicle could best represent him.

We get the feeling that if Wonka was a campervan, or had a campervan, it would've been so much easier to keep everyone safely under his watchful eye. There would also have been no calls retrospective action against a childhood hero that just wantinlgy let people disappear...  


Mr Fox

Mr Fox is the very definition of cunning, in fact he’s so cunning you could brush your teeth with him! This cunning Fox managed to take down 3 hapless crooks Boggis, Bunce and Bean on his way to saving his family.

So if we’re going to match a car to Mr Fox it would have to be a fittingly awesome motor, which is why we’ve gone with, the stunning, Jaguar F-Type!

Although it’s a big cat rather than a fox, the F-Type is perfectly suited to be our Mr Fox. With lightning speed, comforting interior and devilishly good looks the F-Type is the only cat cunning enough to impersonate a fox!


Bruce Bogtrotter

It’s back to the magical world of Matilda now and, although he’s not a main character, we find ourselves trying to find the motoring equivalent of a purebred fan favourite!

Bogtrotter, the Cake-guzzling, Sunday morning spirit animal of us all is a hard case to crack but we think the Jeep Wrangler is the perfect motor for this cake-covered prince.

Hear us out on this, instead of focussing on the plumpness of young master Bogtrotter we prefer to measure him in pureness of heart and battling spirit. When he was challenged to eat that whole chocolate cake by the terrible Trunchbull, Bruce showed the Batman-like fighting spirit of his caped name-sake to finish the lot!

It’s this tenacity, determination and pig-ignorance to the rules that partners the maverick-like Wrangler with wonderful Bruce. Nothing stops the Wrangler, nothing! With its adventurous DNA and modern looks it’s perfectly adapted to high performance in the city as well as in a rural environment.


There’s no doubt that Roald Dahl is the grandmaster of telling incredible tales that stick with you throughout your life. But we think that this same rose-tinted nostalgia happens when thinking about cars.

Most of us make characters out of our cars and many of them hold special places in our hearts throughout life. Whether they are a Bruce Bogtrotter-style risen legend or a loveable, but daft, giant like the BFG we will always remember them… just like a great story.

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